The Samsung Galaxy Ring: A Tiny Titanium Life Coach I Don't Need But Absolutely Want
From left to right: a matte black ring, a matte silver ring, and a polished gold ring. All three feature a slight inward curve on the outer band, illustrating the Galaxy Ring's lightweight titanium design.
Here's the thing about being a xennial in 2026: we're old enough to remember when phones had cords but young enough to feel personally attacked when Gen Z calls our skinny jeans "cheugy." We're the generation that straddled the analog-digital divide, and now Samsung wants us to wear our technology. On our fingers. Like some sort of health-obsessed Sauron.
Enter the Samsung Galaxy Ring – a $400 titanium band that promises to track everything from my sleep quality to my stress levels, which, let me tell you, are primarily caused by looking at the price of things like $400 titanium bands.
One Ring to Track Them All
The Galaxy Ring is Samsung's answer to a question literally no one asked: "What if a wedding band could judge your life choices?" This sleek little circle weighs about 3 grams (roughly the weight of my ambition on a Monday morning) and comes packed with more sensors than a Bond villain's lair. Heart rate? Check. Sleep tracking? Obviously. Skin temperature? Because apparently, my finger knows more about my wellbeing than I do.
What's genuinely impressive is that it lasts up to seven days on a single charge – longer than most of my New Year's resolutions. The charging case looks like it houses luxury earbuds, which makes sense because in 2026, everything technological apparently needs its own tiny coffin.
The AI Knows Things
The ring syncs with Samsung Health and dishes out something called an "Energy Score" each morning. It's basically a report card for adults, rating your readiness to face the day based on yesterday's sleep, heart rate, and activity. Mine would presumably read: "You stayed up watching YouTube videos about conspiracy theories involving birds and got 5 hours of sleep. Energy Score: Barely functional. Please try coffee."
A close-up lifestyle shot of a hand wearing the Samsung Galaxy Ring on the index finger.
The AI also provides "Wellness Tips," which I can only assume translates to: "We've noticed you haven't moved in 6 hours. Are you alive? Please wiggle your finger if you require assistance."
No Subscription Fees (Wait, What?)
In a plot twist worthy of M. Night Shyamalan, Samsung isn't charging a monthly subscription. You pay $400 once, and that's it. No nickel-and-diming, no "premium tier" to unlock basic features. This is so refreshing it's almost suspicious. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, or in this case, the other ring to charge me $5.99 a month.
Compare this to the Oura Ring, which requires a $5.99 monthly subscription, and suddenly Samsung's approach feels downright charitable. It's like they've read the room and realized that millennials and xennials have subscription fatigue. We're already paying for Netflix, Spotify, Disney+, YouTube Premium (don't judge me), and about seventeen other services we forgot to cancel.
The Toronto Perspective
Speaking of things I haven't gotten around to yet: Toronto's new LRT extension has been open for a week, and I still haven't ridden it. Not because I'm avoiding it – I'm just exceptionally good at maintaining the status quo. This is peak xennial behavior: simultaneously excited about new infrastructure while being completely content with my existing commute that involves too much King Street streetcar and existential dread.
The Galaxy Ring would probably give me notifications about this. "We've noticed you walk the same route daily. Have you considered literally any other option?" To which I'd respond: "Listen, titanium band, I'm a creature of habit. You track my heart rate; you should know this causes me stress."
Who Is This Actually For?
The Galaxy Ring is perfect if you:
Want health tracking but find smartwatches too chunky
Already own seventeen Samsung products and feel committed to the ecosystem
Like the idea of your jewelry silently judging your life choices
Think "I'd wear a Fitbit, but make it fashion" is a legitimate thought
Have £400/$400 burning a hole in your pocket and all your bills are paid (ha)
It's less ideal if you:
Use an iPhone (sorry, it's Android-only)
Enjoy blissful ignorance about your sleep quality
Think your fingers have enough responsibilities already
Prefer rings that don't require charging
A close-up lifestyle image of the Samsung Galaxy Ring in a polished Titanium Gold finish
The Verdict (From My Couch)
Would I buy the Samsung Galaxy Ring? Here's the honest answer: probably not immediately, but I'll think about it obsessively for three months, read 47 reviews, watch 23 YouTube videos, bore my partner to tears discussing the pros and cons, and then possibly impulse-buy it at 2am during a moment of weakness.
This is the xennial way. We were raised to comparison-shop everything, yet we live in an age of same-day delivery. It's a constant internal battle between our Depression-era grandparents' voices ("$400 for a RING?!") and our own voices ("But it has AI...").
The Galaxy Ring represents peak 2026: elegant, overly connected, vaguely unsettling, and somehow both necessary and completely absurd. It's a titanium band that tracks whether you're thriving or merely surviving, and honestly? In this economy, that data might be too real.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go not ride the new LRT and continue my streak of maintaining absolutely no new habits whatsoever. My future Galaxy Ring is going to have a field day with me.
Want to track your own questionable life choices in style?
Check out the Samsung Galaxy Ring here:
No pressure though. I'll still be here, overthinking this purchase and googling "is a smart ring worth it reddit" at midnight.
Written from a Toronto coffee shop, where I'm drinking a $7 latte while researching whether I can afford a $400 ring. The irony is not lost on me.
